Wide awake.

It's 6.30 and I've been wide awake for about 45 minutes now. Just because. Ugh.

It's going to be a long day but probably a very fun one. I'm volunteering to help with a gala fundraiser for the local youth outdoor non-profit that my roommate works for. I'm guessing that I'll be helping with set-up for most of the day and then I'll be doing registration at the event tonight. It should be a lot of fun tonight. Plus, I get to dress up and we all know how much I enjoy dressing up! :-)

I had initially really hoped to bring the hairdresser as my date but that obviously isn't going to happen now. Besides which he had to work and wouldn't have been able to make it anyway. However, I was talking to this other guy, whom I've mentioned in passing before, and although he didn't absolutely commit to coming tonight, he very probably will come. I had come to the conclusion that he probably was interested in more than just a friendship although I still wasn't absolutely sure until last night when his decision to come to the event was less based on whether or not he could get away with wearing his tux than whether or not I'd be tied up with volunteer stuff all night or if we could actually hang out together.

We'll see how this goes. I've realised that thing about this fellow (he needs a moniker, doesn't he? Shall we stick with the occupational names, I guess? ...he's a minister. But for one of those good, liberal churches so it's okay--I think Congregationalist) ... Anyway, the thing about the minister I've come to realise--aside from the awkwardness of the fact that he's a regular customer--is that he's gorgeous AND horrendously intelligent and intellectual. To the point that he intimidates me. I've never really dated someone as intellectual as me and, as I suggested in the post that I linked to above, I don't know if I could. I don't think that it's so much a matter of needing to feel intellectual superior to whomever I'm dating so much as maybe a worry that I'd have to be intellectually on all the time. At the same time, I've become frustrated in the past when I'm spending lots of time with a guy and I feel as if I can't talk to him on the same level as I do with my other friends. I guess it's all a matter of balance.

I'm still pining for the hairdresser, though. We spoke a bit more on Tuesday night although nothing was resolved. He says he has major trust issues. That he never sees guys more than once. I pointed out that he saw me twice--the second time was entirely his idea (not that he had to twist my arm about it--and that he was still talking to me. I suggested that that must count for something. I told him that I'd like to think that I could earn his trust. He seems to have a lot of thinking to do. In the end, I sent him a link for the lyrics to the Joe Jackson song 'You can't get what you want (until you know what you want)' because it happened to come on my iTunes. And, as I said to him, it seemed appropriate and, god knows, it's been an appropriate song for me at oh so many points in my life. It seemed a good fit especially given the lines 'Sometimes you can't see that all you need is one thing. / If it's right, you could sleep at night, /But it can take some time, /But at least I'm here in line.'

Ack. It's almost seven now. No real point in going back to sleep. My roommate is due to be up any minute along with our house guest who is back in town visiting and also helping out with the event. I may as well go put the coffee on WITH MY COOL NEW COFFEE MAKER!